I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why)

When I wake up in the morning, I always like to hit the 10 minute snooze button....more than once. And as a result, I end up scurrying around my apartment, trying to put on heels, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth at the same time. Oh, and I have to wash whatever dishes I use because the ants will come out to play if I don't, and that means the centipedes will come out to eat the ants (always at 5:20 when I get home). I guess I could just go to bed 20 minutes earlier the night before and actually wake up when I intend to, but where would the fun be in that? My goal is to leave at 8:45, as I have to be at work at 9:00, and timing is very tedious with the morning traffic. Here's why: Everybody wants to leave at 8:45, so if you actually do get out the door then, you'll be sitting in traffic with all the other people who are presumably "on time," and you'll actually walk in the door a minute past 9:00 because this time slot is classified as the "rush hour." If you leave at 8:50 because you were trying to leave at 8:45, you're just out of luck; 8:50 is the 8:45 has-been. What I mean is, you're not walking into the office before 9:05, which makes for a bad impression on the boss. So if you ever want to cut driving time, here are a few tips: when sitting at a stoplight, try to find something in your bag or open a tube of lip gloss, because by gosh, as soon as you do that, the red light will turn green every time. Can I get an amen? If you wear glasses, take them off to get a shiny clean luster on the lenses, and there you have it, that light will turn green faster than a New York minute. Put the car in Park, do some arm stretches to get your day going, only if you're in a hurry though (because it doesn't work if you're actually on time), and you'll be to work before you know it. The funniest thing about the 8:45 Has-Been (8:50), is that if you just wait 3 minutes and leave your house at 8:53, there's virtually no traffic. It's utterly amazing. How does a mile long car line cease to exist in 3 minutes? Forget leaving early; live life in the fast lane.