Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I'm in a Hurry (And Don't Know Why)

When I wake up in the morning, I always like to hit the 10 minute snooze button....more than once. And as a result, I end up scurrying around my apartment, trying to put on heels, eat breakfast, and brush my teeth at the same time. Oh, and I have to wash whatever dishes I use because the ants will come out to play if I don't, and that means the centipedes will come out to eat the ants (always at 5:20 when I get home). I guess I could just go to bed 20 minutes earlier the night before and actually wake up when I intend to, but where would the fun be in that? My goal is to leave at 8:45, as I have to be at work at 9:00, and timing is very tedious with the morning traffic. Here's why: Everybody wants to leave at 8:45, so if you actually do get out the door then, you'll be sitting in traffic with all the other people who are presumably "on time," and you'll actually walk in the door a minute past 9:00 because this time slot is classified as the "rush hour." If you leave at 8:50 because you were trying to leave at 8:45, you're just out of luck; 8:50 is the 8:45 has-been. What I mean is, you're not walking into the office before 9:05, which makes for a bad impression on the boss. So if you ever want to cut driving time, here are a few tips: when sitting at a stoplight, try to find something in your bag or open a tube of lip gloss, because by gosh, as soon as you do that, the red light will turn green every time. Can I get an amen? If you wear glasses, take them off to get a shiny clean luster on the lenses, and there you have it, that light will turn green faster than a New York minute. Put the car in Park, do some arm stretches to get your day going, only if you're in a hurry though (because it doesn't work if you're actually on time), and you'll be to work before you know it. The funniest thing about the 8:45 Has-Been (8:50), is that if you just wait 3 minutes and leave your house at 8:53, there's virtually no traffic. It's utterly amazing. How does a mile long car line cease to exist in 3 minutes? Forget leaving early; live life in the fast lane.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Jessica said...

You can get an amen from me. This phenomenon extends to public transportation as well.

erald said...

just wanted you to know this has now become my must read blog. so much better than mountaindue.